real drowners

I think you’re great.

I read An Abundance of Katherines when my sister was in high school and passed it up to me. Other than being completely hilarious in every way, it also made a big impact on me because of Hassan.

My sister and I, being half-Arab, had never read a book with an Arab main character in it before. (I say ‘main’ meaning not the protagonist, but part of the central cast.) Or an Arab character at all. I laughed every time he called Colin ‘kafir’. I loved that he was a Muslim character who wasn’t defined by his religion. He wasn’t perfect at being a Muslim. He was a person, he was flawed, and he was lazy as shit.

It made such an impact on me that I started to write you an email about it once I discovered Brotherhood 2.0 sometime shortly thereafter. I never ended up sending one, for which I apologize - you deserve to hear these things. I could never get my thoughts in order enough to thank you for what I felt like you’d done for me. So belatedly: thank you.

To be honest, this started as a really angry tirade. I’m angry, and I rarely use Tumblr, because pretty much every time I come back here I’m reminded how BATSHIT CRAZY this place is. On the surface it seems like a fun place where people share the things they love but there’s this horrible underbelly of white people calling other white people racist and appropriative and entitled - and while on very rare occasion these accusations are accurate, they are by and large humorless people who are Missing The Point on a very, very large scale. Hanko De Mayo as cultural appropriation instead of a fucking pun - this kind of virulent insistence that everything is offensive if you look at it the right (wrong) way pains me to the core of my disgusted being. One’s heart being in the right place doesn’t make up for one’s mind and capacity for rational thought being apparently missing.

sound and fury, signifying nothing, blah blah blah.

I recently rewatched all of B2.0 and am in 2012 of a vlogbrothers rewatch(/watch of any videos I missed, having fallen off for some time due to life being what it is). Thanks for being a constant source of amusement and inspiration. I finally started writing the book I’ve been wanting to write for years. I’ll dedicate it in part to you if I ever finish the damn thing.

ps I finally read TFiOS after putting it off because I wasn’t ready for the EMOTIONAL PAINS that the internet promised it would put me through. I cried through about 40% of it, admittedly, but it was good crying, and more importantly, there were scenes where I was weeping openly and then laughing through those tears. Thank you, you magnificent bastard.

The next time you’re in a school admissions office, and they try to get you to sign up for a bunch of different loans, and that sounds fine and your parent who is with you thinks it’s pretty okay and they’re all for seemingly pretty small amounts each so it’s no big deal - I want you to do this.

I want you to look at the admissions counselor, and I want you to ask him or her

Do I look like a ho to you?

And when they adjust their suit and say, excuse me?

I want you to say

Do-I-appear-to-be-a-prostitute?

And when they say, no, of course you don’t, I want you to ask them

Are you a pimp?

And when they appear bewildered, I want you to ask them

Then why are you encouraging me to let people fuck me for money?

BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT’S HAPPENING.

Sincerely,

Someone who took out student loans on her father’s advice and is still getting bills from places she didn’t even fucking know she owed money to six goddamn years later.

expertcosmotips:

While giving him a hand job, at the point of orgasm, imitate the Mortal Kombat voice over and yell “Finish him!”.

Coven, have we started our reread yet?

Just spent $23 I barely have on some birth control. Word of advice: stay gay.